The Pursuit of Happiness and the Tangled Web We Trap Ourselves In

Written by LunarLove at Psychic Mix

The truth is; the only thing we have a modicum of control over is our own energy. So no amount of chasing someone, hoping, praying, swearing will change someone else's choices or behavior. All you can do is return your energy to you.

What's a girl to do?

Woman scared and confused
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Every day I work with women of all ages, stages, and circumstances— can you guess the one thing they have in common? Chasing, wailing, and lusting after a man. Hysterical, manic, depressed & highly volatile. All over what exactly? A fallible human being?

There is a theory that men are NOT designed to be faithful, they are “programmed” to procreate and wander. Women are the nurturers and naturally want the man to stay, to provide, and keep the family together. As much as I recoil from this cut and dried extremely pragmatic notion, my own life experience (and my clients) do validate it largely. Yep, I have been one of those women, so I empathize deeply and vow to empower them.

So what's to be done? Are we destined to a lifetime of chasing after reluctant men who remain elusive till they are too old or lazy to run? Truth be known this post is not solely about women chasing unrequited love; it is equally applicable to anyone (male, female, or however you may choose to identify) struggling to get out of their own way.

If you find yourself constantly pushing in a direction then you are in “resistance” and not “in-flow” as we say in"energy circles". Whether this is about love, money, family or work, Dreams or Goals… we all find ourselves challenged at some point.

Theories and drama aside… I do have some basic beliefs I subscribe to:

  • What you resist persists….so the more you chase the more likely he will flee...the more you screech the more reclusive he will be. Nag more? He's out the door.

  • So should you simply endure? Like women of yore? Permit promiscuity and more? Certainly not, I say, but within the limits of reason (& sanity), we must still remain.,

Shift your focus for starters, easier said I know. But like we observed earlier the only thing we have a modicum of control over is our own energy. Pour all that love, affection, energy, and attention back into you. Create moments to feel good, celebrate and enjoy life every day. Whether that's baking or shopping, dancing or painting, getting a makeover, or yoga. Do what it takes to make you feel good; a little every day. Meditation & exercise I swear by, and strongly advocate (not only for what it makes you look like but also how it makes you feel).

Now I am going to use two examples, loosely based on real-life clients (to protect their confidentiality of course) to highlight how powerful our choices really are.

Some people get in the way of their own happiness

woman stressed out and worried
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So client A; let's call her Annabelle, is heartbroken, her long-time partner has left and chosen to be with another. They were together well over a decade though thankfully they didn't live together, understandably she is shattered. I will say though that when she came to me they had split up two years ago.

Now her ex is considering marriage and this has sent Annabelle into a tailspin. The breakup has taken a serious toll on her health (physical and mental). She is in therapy and on medication but nothing seems to be helping.

She says she "needs" to talk to me on a daily basis and spends a considerable amount of money & time doing so. Now fortunately for Annabelle, I am not someone who takes herself too seriously. I am a channel the Universe has sent to help her, and as I keep telling her if not me, someone else will soon be along to fulfill the exact same role.

Now each time I make recommendations, I note she resists them. She cannot work out, makes every excuse not to move, she hmms when I suggest she journal, she hmms when I say meditate, she has shown zero interest or commitment to even trying guided meditation practices (which do help folks who are new to meditation).